Life is good!

Life is going pretty fantastic. Adam and I just celebrated our 2 month anniversary this past Sunday, and considering both of our relationship history, this is a HUGE accomplishment. It's not like some of my past relationships where the first few weeks or the first month is great and then it starts to get tedious and boring and it becomes more and more of an effort to "make it work." If anything, it started out great and it's stronger now than ever and we get closer each day.

A few weeks ago I was texting with Adam and we started talking about sex. Now, don't get the wrong idea here. It was a good talk. We both have made mistakes in the past and we both have regrets from past relationships. You can't change the past, but you can learn from your mistakes to help you not make mistakes in the future. We both came to a decision that we are going to wait until marriage to have sex. At first I was a but leery to even bring this up in the first place, I was thinking it might make things weird or awkward between us, but actually, we have become a lot closer! We talked about how there is always going to be temptation, but if we keep God as our focus and don't get caught up in the moment, everything will work out. I shared with Adam a verse I found that we can keep in mind when temptation arises.

"No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it." ~1 Corinthians 10:13

Later that day, I went to Sonlight Books, a Christian store in Sheboygan. I went there before I went in to work. I bought a ring that says "Love Waits" on it. I later told Adam about it, and I asked if he would be interested in getting one too because they had men's rings too. He gladly said he would get one too. Unfortunately, he still hasn't gotten one because he hasn't been up here by me in the past few weeks except this past Sunday, and that was when I found out that Sonlight Books is closed on Sundays. But the next time he is up here by me on a weekday, we are definitely going to get him one.

Things with Adam are going absolutely wonderful. We don't get to see each other as often as we would like because of our jobs, but it's okay because we talk on the phone almost every night. My job is going good, life at home is great. Life is good!

Heavenly Father, I want to praise you and thank you for the blessings in my life. Everything that is going on is going according to your plan; you are in control. I want to pray for Adam and my relationship, that you will continue to be in the center of it. Help us not lose focus of you, and when temptation arrises, help us maintain control. I pray that our relationship will grow stronger and closer, but only as we grow closer to you. I ask this in your holy name, Amen.

Where my family has come from in the past year

I know I should be blogging more often, but I just haven't gotten around to it. In the past week, I have been meaning to and meaning to, and there were even times where I sat down and meant to, but I just haven't had quite the inspiration. I know there's a lot I need to update on and a lot that has happened, but maybe I just don't know where to begin.

When I first started going to Open Door last year, at first my family was against it. Both mom and dad would tell me that I needed to do what I was told until I was 18 (I was 17 when I started going) and that I was brought up Catholic, and that is what I was to stay. Well, I knew God was calling me and telling me what to do, and it wasn't to go back to St. Mary's. After a few weeks of going alone, Mom began to notice that I was actually looking forward to church for the first time in my life, and I had kept on asking her if she would come with me. Finally, she did, and she did enjoy it, but all she knew was the Catholic church her entire life, so she was warning me about potential false teachings and things like that. But, she continued to come with me almost every week, arranging when she would go to an Open Door service around when she would go to St. Mary's or St. Peter's.

A few weeks later, i invited my brothers to come with me, and they did, and they didn't understand how it was "church." Again, all they knew was the Catholic church and a service at Open Door was NOTHING like a Catholic mass. They said the service was waaayyy too long and "it didn't count as church."

A few weeks later, I finally was able to take my entire family: Mom, Dad, John and Joe. But, the only reason they all came with me was because after we went to the early service, then we all went to the late service at St. Peter's. I had been going to Open Door for almost two months at this time, and I absolutely loved it. I also hadn't gone to a Catholic church during this time. I had never really gotten much out of a Catholic mass before, but that Sunday, I can honestly say it was a wasted hour. I really really didn't get it. It amazed me that I could feel so alive with the spirit in me and singing praise songs and actually reading and learning from the bible, and then I go sit for an hour and recite chants that I had memorized since I was five years old and participate in the same mindless rituals and just didn't feel the precense of God like I did before.

Well, Dad didn't care much for Open Door. He is a very closeminded person. I started praying for him and mom, that they would be more accepting of me and my walk with the Lord. Even though mom was going with me almost every week, she still was uncomfortable with the fact that I had broken away with what I had been raised up in. Dad, on the other hand, was not so accepting. He thought that what I was doing was wrong because it wasn't how I was raised.

I had made it clear that I couldn't go to Catholic church anymore because it wasn't doing anything for me and there were a lot of things that I didn't agree with in Catholicism. Then, Mom started telling me about how she felt like a failure because her and Dad had brought me up one way and I was totally deserting that and leaving it behind. I have assured them over and over that they weren't failures, that because of them raising me in a church and I had a Christian base, I had never doubted that there was a God. I had just started seeking more, I needed to fill my spiritual viod and that they should be happy for me.

Everything that was going on put Mom in a difficult position. On one side was me: I was on fire for God and was looking forward to Sunday mornings and was reading in my bible for the first time in my life, and I just had a new attitude towards things. All good changes. On the other side was Dad: he was against me breaking away from the Catholic church because that's how I was raised, that I had just gotten confirmed the previous year, I was baptized Catholic at just a few weeks old, and what would Grandma think? Mom was, in a sense, torn between us. She liked going with me Sunday mornings and loved reading in her bible and learning from the sermons, but she still was going with Dad and my brothers to St. Peter's or St. Mary's. Her and Dad have had countless discussions about it all.

Fast forward to Summer. Dad had gone with Mom and me to a welcome class at Open Door where we all learned about the church's history, questions about the denomination, we learned about the church doctrine, what they believed, etc. It was really informative. That ended in summer of last year. By this point, both Mom and Dad came to terms with my spiritual choice. They were okay with me going. But, Mom continued to go with me, and go with my brothers and Dad to their service.

From last summer until January of this year, I had been growing in my faith. I got baptized last July as a new believer. My faith was stronger than it had been my entire life, and it felt fantastic.

From November of last year until about the middle of January this year, I had gone through some not so great relationships, both of which were with unbelievers. I struggled with a lot of different things during this time period. But then, towards the end of January, I met someone new, and he was a Christian! On our first date, we talked openly about our churches, where we were at in our walk with God, and more and this was all new to me because I had never been with a Christian before.

We had met on January 25, and decided to make ourselves "official" on the 28th. That was about a month and a half ago, almost two months. Coincedently, during the past month and a half, my passion for God and sharing the gospel intensified A LOT. I have felt so on fire for God in the past month and a half. It's an amazing feeling. I have been reading in my bible a lot lately, and I can just spout off all these verses. I redid the back of my car, taking off nearly all of my old bumper stickers and replacing them with Christian stickers. Adam and I have just sat down and read scripture, and we have asked each other to pray for certain situations in our lives. It's wonderful.

Because of my new passion for God that has really taken off in the past month and a half, I really want to share my story, to teach others about what God has done for me and what he can do for them. I even attended a prospective student weekend at New Tribes Bible Institute in Waukesha a few weeks ago.

During the past few weeks, I really started thinking about Catholicism and it's many errors. Now, what Open Door follows and where they get their beliefs from and what we read from every Sunday is the bible. What the Catholic church follows is something called Catechism. It's a list of nearly 3000 rules and phrases that are made up by man, and basically states their beliefs. Aside from the fact that we follow the bible and Catholics follow the catechism, which is wrong in itself, there are a lot of things that the Catholic church teaches and follows that are not mentioned in the bible and in some cases, straight out contradict the bible. I'm not going to name off all of them now, but it really made me uneasy.

The biggest thing that breaks my heart about what the Catholic church teaches is that you can never know if you're going to heaven or not. What we are taught is that you have to earn your way to salvation by doing good works. That if you follow the sacrements like baptism, communion, reconciliation and confirmation, you have a better chance of going to heaven. That if you confess your sins to a priest, he somehow has the power to forgive you of your sins but only if you pray the rosary or perform some act of pennace. All of that contradicts the bible.

See, for the first 17 years of my life, I had often wondered to myself if I was good enough to go to heaven. I never knew, so i lived in constant worry and wondered if I could do more "good things" to outweigh all the "bad things" I had done. I've discussed this with Mom and my brothers, and because Mom was going with me to church, she learned as I did that we CAN know where we are going to spend eternity. Last year we learned that by putting our faith in Christ alone and trusting in him, and believing that Jesus died for our sins and if we depend on that, we can know we are going to heaven! When I learned that last year, it was like I finally got it. A new life began for me. It was that simple! It just breaks my heart that Catholics aren't taught that.

Over the past few weeks I began to educate myself and learned more about the differences between Catholicism and Christianity, and it became very obvious that my brothers and dad were on a very differnt page than I was, and with mom going to two contradictory churches at the same time, I really started to have a problem with it. To me, it was like my mom was living a double life. She had put her trust in Jesus as her savior as I did, but was still going to St. Peter's with my family and participating in meaningless Catholic traditions. I have explained to her over and over that it's one or the other, you can't do both. We got into quite a few arguments about this.

Last week, mom and me spent some time together. We went out for dinner on Friday night and Saturday morning we went to The Cracked Shoe and sat there for a good two hours, and we talked about where everyone was at. She said that she is so proud of me of where I'm at, and she admires my passion for God. I explained to her about a lot of the ways that the Catholic church contradicts the bible and why it hurts me how every Sunday I am either alone or with Mom in church, and I'm surrounded by families that are all on the same page. We had again talked about her dilema, about how she feels torn. She said how especially over the past few weeks she has been struggling because I had such a desire to share, and there had been some tension in the house because of it. She also told me that she gets way more out of a service at Open Door and that she is learning there, and she doesn't get that at a Catholic church. She was just afraid to stop going because of potential arguments with Dad and what that might do to our family. I said that it isn't right for her to compromise her beliefs to please others, and she needs to start standing up for herself. If Christ is in her heart, that's all that matters. By the time we left the Cracked Shoe, she came to the decision that she wasn't going to St. Peter's anymore, just Open Door. I was so proud of her!

We got home saturday afternoon from there, and Joe was home. John was spending the day with Shelby, and Dad was out of state. We both sat down with Joe, and I did most of the talking. We asked him, "what are you trusting in to get to heaven? If you died right now, do you know where you're going?" He gave me the same answer that I would've answered with two years ago. He didn't know, and he mentioned the thing about "well if I'm a good person" and then, by the grace of God, I shared the gospel with him. I explained about God's love for us, about original sin that separates us from God, God sending Jesus to pay for our sins, and by faith alone is what saves us. It was a lot of information for him to take in. Then, we asked Joe when he was going to church, and he said he would go with Mom to Open Door that night. During the Saturday night service, I worked in the nursery, so i could hear the sermon. Pastor Sid had started a 3 part series on the ressurection, and during that service last Saturday night, he basically resated a lot of what I just told Joe at home. Of course, he did a better job of it than I did, because when church was over, Joe told me that he just got saved! I was so proud of him! I then went to babysit in Sheboygan, and Joe kept texting me, thanking me.

I continue to pray for my family, that hopefully we will all be on the same page. Joe told me that he will come with mom and me every weekend to Open Door. He even wrote on his calendar "saved" on last Saturday's date.

God almighty, I see your grace everyday in my life. Your beauty is all around me in the beautiful earth you created. I want to pray for me, that your love with continue to live in me and that I can be an instrument used by you to reach others. I want to pray for Mom, that you will continue to work in her heart and overcome any struggles she may still be having. I want to lift Joe up to you as he is a new believer, help him to grow in his newfound faith. I want to pray for John and Dad, as their eyes haven't been opened up yet. It's all in your time, and only you know what's on their hearts. I ask this all in your name, amen.

Jesus, be the center

it's been nearly two and a half weeks since i last posted. i thought i was getting better at posting more often, but i've been slacking a bit. i spend the majority of my time working. when i'm not working, i tend to spend my free time with adam. if i'm not working or not with adam, i'm pretty much just relaxing at home.

i haven't forgotten to update, i just haven't gotten around to it. i tend to write really long posts, going into a lot of detail telling a story. at the very minimum, i tend to take at least two hours. when i write a blog post, i need no distractions, and an uninterrupted block of time. i haven't had that in the past two weeks. not only that, i haven't had anything that stands out that i felt the need to write about. things have been going really well for me. there are a few minor setbacks and bumps in the road, but that's to be expected.

one huge thing though that has happened, not in the past two weeks specifically, is adam. this past sunday, was our one month anniversary. i know we are still in that "honeymoon phase" of our relationship, because we havent had any problems yet. we both know and have said that we are gonna eventually fight, and we arent always gonna get along perfectly. i think that's a good thing that we both know and understand that, not like we are in some weird denial.

one amazing thing about this relationship compared to ANY other relationship i've been in, is our shared faith. it means so much to me that we can openly talk about God and the bible, and we can both ask each other to pray for certain situations in our lives. once, adam was over at my house, and we went in the office and we read from my bible for an hour and a half. i had never read anything from the book of revalation before, and he has studied it, so he wanted to discuss it. it was really an interesting experience, and he said a few days ago that he wanted to go over genesis with me. he hasn't come with me to church yet, but that's only because of his work schedule. he wants to come, but it just hasn't happened yet. it will, i know it.

i'm not going to list all the good things about adam, or why i think he might be "the one." there are a lot of great things about him, and about us. there are a ton of things we have in common, and there are a lot of ways we just "click." naming them all seems almost pointless, because hardly anyone reads my blog in the first place, and also because i just don't see the point in it. i know i've done it before with past relationships. well, they are past relationships. i get all excited and tell the world about why this guy is so great and for what purpose?

the main thing i wanted to say about adam is that he is a christian, and both of our #1 priorities in our lives is God, and it's great that we can share that. also, i felt the need to share that because this is the first relationship i've ever been in that i can say that. i know that we have a strong relationship because God has been our center from day one, even before we were official. on our first date, we talked about our churches and openly discussed religious beliefs, and it was just so refreshing!

after went out for the first time, i was surprised at first that he didn't ask me to be his girlfriend. we both liked each other a lot, so to me it didnt make sense. he explained to me that rushing into a relationship and not taking things slow almost never ends well, and he told me that we should pray about it, that if it was God's will for us to be together, it will happen. he wanted us to be friends first before making it official because then if things didn't work out, we would be comfortable with being friends. we prayed about it, and one thing led to another, and we've been together for just over a month now. i hope that we continute to grow closer and stronger in our faith together, and God will continue to be in our hearts and guide us.

Almighty Lord, you do all things well. I know you have a wonderful plan for me and a wonderful plan for Adam, and only you know if our future is together. I want to lift Adam up to you now, and i pray that you continue to be with him and be in his heart. I also want to pray that you will continue to guide me day by day, and help me make good decisions. I pray that you will be at the center of our relationship, and even though sometimes it's hard to keep a clear focus on you, I know that you never grow impatient with us. Your love is unfailing, and that's an amazing thing. I want to completely surrender myself to your will, and let my future unfold according to your plan. I know that sometimes I don't always like what happens, but I continue to trust in you. I know that whatever happens with me and Adam, whether we are together in the future or not, it is all according to your plan. I pray this in your name, amen.