Cast All Your Anxiety on Him because He Cares for You

It has not been the greatest week, hence why I haven't blogged in a week. Last Friday, Adam got in a car accident. Rather, someone smashed his car. He was on a delivery and had just come to a red light, and someone was coming up too fast behind him. It had been raining, and a hydroplaning car didn't hit their breaks in time. A car smashed into him, which sent his car smashing into the car in front of him. He had called me around 12:30, which was weird because I knew he was working 11-1. He called me up and said that he wouldn't be able to come up the next day. I asked why, and he told me the story. I immediately thanked God that he wasn't hurt and was okay. Of course it sucked that his car was totaled, but cars can be replaced, people can't.

I was visiting mom at work for lunch, and when he called me, I was just getting ready to leave mom's office. When I was driving home, waves of different emotions washed over me. A sense of panic started to set in. I knew he was okay and not hurt, but all sorts of thoughts rushed into my head about how it could've been so much worse: Adam could've gotten hurt or even died. I didn't want to think these thoughts, but once they started, I couldn't stop. I began to feel a bit nauseous, but I was okay. I then figured that I should probably go down by him, because I had a need to see him, almost like a reassurance that he really was okay. I didn't want to bother him because I knew there was a lot that he was doing, with reports and the police and whatnot. So, I called his brother Nathan, but he didn't answer. I called Adam anyway and asked if I could come down, and he said he'd really like that. I was almost home from Sheboygan, so I said I'd get there as soon as I can. As the afternoon went on, my inner sense of dread and panic grew more and more. I got home, did a few things, and then set off for Pewaukee.

The drive from my house to Adam's house is about an hour. It doesn't usually seem that long because it's all highway. This trip, though, seemed to drag on forever. I started to get teary as I was driving because of all the "what if's" running around my head. I felt sick as I was driving, and my anxiety was not ceasing. I was going through milwaukee around 2 on Friday afternoon, so I didn't expect to run into any traffic. Around Locust Avenue, traffic drastically started to slow down. I've driven through heavy, slow jammed up traffic before without any problems. I saw on one of the signs where they post traffic times that two left lanes were blocked off at North Avenue, probably due to an accident. Well, around this time Adam texted me asking how far I was. I said I was at standstill traffic by Locust Avenue and he said he was sorry and shouldn't have asked me to come down. I of course said he had no need to be sorry because I asked to come down and it wasn't his fault.

At this point, I became overwhelmed with anxiety. All of the thoughts about what could have been and what would it be like if Adam died or got hurt really bad and the rain I was driving in and the stand-still traffic just became too much. My chest began to feel tight and tears started streaming down my face and I felt dizzy and lightheaded and started hyperventilating and basically had a bad panic attack. Luckily I was barely moving on the road. Adam texted me again, asking how I was doing, and I replied saying "not too good, I'm panicking pretty bad." Then he called me and I answered, but I couldn't even speak. All he could hear was me trying to catch my breath. He calmed me down through the phone, just telling me to breathe and calm down and everything was going to be okay. It took a few minutes, but he did it. I ended up exiting on North Avenue and taking that west for a bit, and caught I-94 later on. Once I was breathing normally again, he asked if I needed him to stay on the line, and I said no, I was fine. Once I got there, I didn't even say anything, I just hugged him so tight. We didn't say anything for the first few minutes, just held each other. But for the rest of the day, I still felt uneasy. I hadn't had a panic attack for a few months.

Fast forward to today. Today at work was a very stressful day. I won't get into many details, but it is getting to be the busy time of year and there was just a lot going on today. Because there was a lot going on and it was a high-stress environment, this tends to put people in bad moods. Expecially some supervisors. Today was just a bad day overall. I was pretty much in a bad mood all day. One of the things that set me off was a mis-communication at work. I work in the back room pricing, and it isn't always the easiest to hear other people back there. There have been countless times where I have had to repeat myself or speak louder simply because I wasn't heard. One of my supervisors asked me a question from across the room, and I shouted a reply to her question. I was by no means trying to be rude or have a tone or anything like that, but apparently that's what she heard. She came over by my station where I was working and asked if I could stop being rude and that I should show more respect, etc. This really upset me. I started tearing up and tried explaining that I was just shouting so I could be heard and I didn't mean to come off as rude, but by the time I was done explaining I was crying, so she had me come in the office. She talked to me then for a good 15 minutes or so, the entire time I had tears running down my face as I tried to defend myself.

When I was done in the office, I went back to my station to price. As I went through the motions, I kept tearing up. I wasn't crying anymore, but I kept having my eyes fill up with tears. Also, shortly after I got back to my station, I felt my chest get tight, like right before I have a panic attack. I didn't though, I was able to take deep slow breaths. But once it went away, my chest would just get tight again. All I could think of was that I wanted to get away. I couldn't go in the break room because there were people in there, and I didn't want to get in trouble because I didn't have any more breaks. I couldn't go in the bathroom because it isn't a single bathroom, and I couldn't risk anyone coming in. I couldn't leave work because I only had a little over an hour left of my shift and it wasn't worth it to get an occurence for leaving work early. I felt trapped. I felt like I couldn't get to a safe place, because no matter where I would go, there would be other people. I felt trapped. Which didn't help my anxiety. Needless to say, I eventually got better by the end of my shift.

I am not going to lie here, but when I am feeling panicky and upset, it can be really hard to think of God and his comfort. I don't ever doubt God, but it's hard to grasp and understand that he is ALWAYS there with us, even when we are struggling. I noticed I am quick to help other people and give them advice and I enjoy giving words of comfort, but when it comes to myself, I am not as quick to take my own advice. Now, hours later, I reflect on God's word.

"Cast all your anxiety on Him because he cares for you." ~1 Peter 5:7

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." ~Philippians 4:6

"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." ~Isaiah 41:10

"Be still, and know that I am God." ~Psalm 46:10a

Father, I am not having the greatest week right now. I know that everything is going according to your plan, even though I don't understand it all now. I know that you are always with me, even if I forget it sometimes. I pray that whenever I get in a difficult situation and I begin to stress out and get panicky that I will stop and just think about you and remember that you are always with me. I ask this in your name, amen.

Why I am Not Participating in The National Day of Prayer

Last week, I was invited to an event on facebook. When I saw the title of the event, it made me think. It was called the national Day of Prayer, which is today. I clicked "not attending", and here's why.

First I went to the NDP's website so I could read about it and learn more about it. Here is the mission of the NDP as stated on their website:

"The National Day of Prayer Task Force's mission is to communicate with every individual the need for personal repentance and prayer, mobilizing the Christian community to intercede for America and its leadership in the seven centers of power: Government, Military, Media, Business, Education, Church and Family."

Who we are and what we do:

"The National Day of Prayer is an annual observance held on the first Thursday of May, inviting people of all faiths to pray for the nation. It was created in 1952 by a joint resolution of the United States Congress, and signed into law by President Harry S. Truman. Our task force is a privately funded organization whose purpose is to encourage participation in the National Day of Prayer. It exists to communicate with every individual the need for personal repentance and prayer, to create appropriate materials, and to mobilize the Christian community to intercede with America's leaders and its families. The task force represents a Judeo Christian expression of the national observance, based on our understanding that this country was birthed in prayer and in reverence for God of the Bible."

Now, I'm all for prayer. I am not saying I am against prayer. I pray all the time. But it just doesn't seem right to me that the government set aside one day of the year and even signed into law that the first Thursday of May is a "special" day made for prayer. Also, prayer is a conversation with God, and you shouldn't have to schedule a time where you are "supposed" to pray. And another thing, if the whole purpose of this event is to bring us back and realize that our country was formed on Christian principles, why is this NDP open to all faiths? I don't mean to sound intolerant, but there is only one true God and there is a heaven and hell and other worldviews are not true.

"For since the creation of the world God's invisible qualities- his eternal power and divine nature- have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse." ~Romans 1:20

For anyone who says the bible is false:

"All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness." ~2 Timothy 3:16

Jesus is the only way to eternal life:

Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." ~John 14:6

The point of this blog is not to prove why God exists and is the only way. I just brought up that point because it seems hypocritical for the government to try to bring us back to our Christian roots, yet invite any person of any religion to pray for this country. Anyone who pray to Buddha, Allah, or whoever else your religion tells you to pray to will not achieve anything. There is only one God to pray to that already has a plan and is all-knowing. I am not against people praying for God to help guide the leaders of this country. But to set aside a certain day of the year to pray isn't right. More people praying about something doesn't necessarily make it happen. Furthermore, prayer isn't meant to be a huge public event. Prayer is meant to be an intimate private conversation with God.

"And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the streetcorners to be seen by men. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. But when you pray, go to your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. And when you pray, do not keep babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him." ~Matthew 6:5-8

Jesus clearly states that when we pray, we aren't to be all public and open about it drawing attention to ourselves. If we do it privately or even in a small group setting like a bible study, we aren't going to be distracted and then we can truly have a conversation with God.

"Again, I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything you ask for, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven. For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them." ~Matthew 18:19-20

Jesus says here that prayer doesn't have to be a big group thing. God is always present among us.

I've stated it before and I'll say it again. I am not against prayer. I am not against group prayer. I am not against praying for the future of this country. I am not against making known the power of prayer. What I am against is setting aside a certain day and signing into law that today is a National Day of Prayer. Today is no different than yesterday or tomorrow, so the impression that I am getting and that I'm sure other people are getting is that today is a day where EVERYONE HAS to pray. Prayer is a conversation with God. This event is simply glamorizing prayer for a day. I am troubled by the point on the NDP's website that says that this event is to bring us back to our Christian roots, yet invites all religions and faiths.

So yes, I will pray today, just as I prayed yesterday and I will pray tomorrow and the next day. But that's just because it's part of my personal relationship with God. I will pray today because it's just something I do as a Christian, not because today is a special event that tells everyone to pray.

My Blog: Past, Present and Future

When i started this blog last summer, it began as a journal where I would just write about what was going on in my life, pretty much an online public journal. But over the past few months, my post have been a lot more God-focused. Some of my recent posts have been updates and were about what is currently going on in my life, but just written differently than my older posts. The two posts before this one here weren't necessarily about what is going on in my life, I was just talking about an important biblical issue that is important to me.

So, this post is simply saying that I have noticed a significant change in how my blogging is going from when I started it last year, and I will just continue to write about what inspires me. I don't know how my posts will be next month or 6 months from now. We will just see where God takes me!

The Great Commision- What is holding us back?

As a followup to my blog post last night about the great commision, I realized that simply telling people about what Jesus said to do and leaving it at that won't necessarily make people go out and do it. Sometimes, people are aprehensive about sharing. Some reasons as to why people may still hold back when it comes to sharing the gospel are fear, doubt, nervousness, a feeling of "I'm not good enough," a mindset of "evangelizing isn't really for me," or may a feeling of not knowing the bible "well enough." These things can hold any of us back, but only if we let them.

1. Fear, doubt and nervousness-
When people have a sense of fear when it comes to sharing the gospel, it may be a fear of a few different things. Some common fears when it comes to sharing the gospel could be a fear of what exactly to say or a fear of being judged. If you want to share the gospel and evangelize but are afraid to for whatever reason, that is perfectly understandable. We are human, we are all gonig to be fearful or anxious at some point. But we cannot let our fear hold us back from doing God's will. If you are afraid of sharing the gospel because you are afraid of what to say or how to say it, think about what settings make you most comfortable. Are you good at talking to a large group of people at one time, or are you better at talking one on one with a friend? Whatever makes you more comfortable, go with it! Being in your "comfort zone" will just help your words come easier. If you are fearful about sharing because of a fear of being judged, God gives us words of comfort.

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." ~Joshua 1:9

"When I am afraid, I will trust in you. In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid. What can mortal man do to me?" ~Psalm 56:3-4

"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you." ~Deuteronomy 31:6

"If you are insulted because of the name of Christ, you are blessed, for the Spirit of glory and of God rests on you." ~1 Peter 4:14

There are countless other passages and verses throughout the bible that talk about God always being with us. Even when we feel lost, alone, anxious or afraid, God is always with us, and can give us the courage to share. If we are afraid of being judged, don't be because God is the one and only true judge.

"There is only one Lawgiver and Judge, the one who is able to save and destroy. But you- who are you to judge your neighbor?" ~James 4:12

2. "I'm not good enough" and "evangelizing isn't really for me"-
Some people might be hesistant to share the gospel because they may feel it isn't their place to do so. They might think only certain people like pastors or tv evangelists are the people that are supposed to share it. This thinking and mindset can cause people to keep quiet and not share, which is exactly what satan wants. Satan doeesn't want the good news of the gospel told! Satan is what causes you to feel not good enough. Well, the truth of it all is that sharing the gospel isn't for a special select group of people to do, it's for everyone!

He said to them, "Go into all the world and preach the good news to all creation." ~Mark 16:15

There is not a single person living on this earth that isn't meant to hear the gospel. If we have accepted Jesus as our Savior and have the gospel message, it is then our job to share it with EVERYONE! Share with parents, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins, friends, co-workers, classmates, strangers, teachers, neighbors, everyone! Not a single person is to be left out. And sometimes it can be hard to just go up to someone, whether it be someone we are close with or a stranger and just start spouting off bible verses and sharing the gospel or our personal testimony. Sometimes people can come to Christ by asking us about it. Sometimes the best way to get started in sharing the gospel is simply by living a Christian life that sets us apart from others. Someone may ask you "What is it that has you so happy? Why do you seem different from everybody else?" and that can lead to sharing about having Christ in your life.

"But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give reason for the hope that you have." ~1 Peter 3:15a, 15b

3. "I don't know the bible well enough"-
I honestly think that no one can ever know the bible "well enough." People can read the bible numerous times and still learn new things about God. No one can "master" the bible. And honestly, you don't need to have read the whole bible or understand it all to be able to share the gospel. There is A LOT of the bible I have never read and there are some passages that I don't understand, but I have heard and understood the gospel message, and because I get it, I can and have shared it.

"For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God." ~Romans 3:23

"But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." ~Romans 5:8

"For God so loved the world that he sent his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." ~John 3:16

"He saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit, whom he poured out on us generously through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that, having been justified by his grace, we might become heirs having the hope of eternal life." ~Titus 3:5-7

Bottom line, if you have accepted Jesus Christ as your Savior and understand the gospel message, share your story! No matter how you do it or what your approach is, there is no "right" way to evangelize. Pray about it if you have doubts or fears. God will be with you and help your words flow easier. No matter what your story is about how you came to faith in Christ, it's because someone reached out to you, and someone reached out to them, and it keeps going. It all started 2000 years ago with Jesus, and generations later, it got to us. We have to keep that chain going because that's what Jesus commanded us to do.

The Great Commision

He said to them, "Go into all the world and preach the good news to all creation." ~Mark 16:15

It can't get more simple than that. Some of Jesus' last words before gonig back up to heaven. He gave us the command to go into ALL nations and EVERY corner of the world and preach the gospel message to EVERYONE EVERYWHERE. There are no exceptions. You can't pick and choose certain people.

For "Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved." How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them? And how can they preach unless they are sent? As it written, "How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!" ~Romans 10:13-15

There are people all around us who don't know the good news. They are our friends at school, our co-workers, sometimes in our family. We all know someone who "doesn't get it." They may have rejected it completely, denying its existence, they may be "agnostic", unsure of whether there is a God. There are people that never really have been exposed to God at all, simply because they weren't brought up in a church. There are also countless numbers of people around the world who don't have the gospel message simply because they don't have it in their own language. Jesus told us to share with EVERYONE. We all have different gifts and ways of sharing that work better for us. For some, evangelizing is more of a private one on one conversation with a friend or co-worker or family member. For others, they share the good news in more of a lecture type setting, whether by presentations, sermons, or speeches. There are also those of us who can strike up conversation with random stangers in a checkout line at the grocery store or on a city bus and share that way. Not one is better than the other, but regardless of how you do it, we are all supposed to preach the message! Now, the word "preach" simply means "to share, tell or declare." Which is exactly what we are supposed to do.

For me, when I finally "got it," there is nothing more that I wanted to do than share. I am more reserved and I don't handle public speaking very well, and I could never strike up conversation with a stranger. It was more my thing to share with people I know, and with just a few people at a time. I started with my family. Eventually, I felt more comfortable with reaching out to my friends and co-workers. I love sharing my story, it's just the setting for me is different than other people.

What I'm getting at here is if someone has accepted Jesus into their heart and has trusted in Him ALONE for salvation, why wouldn't you want to share it? God's love for us is such a wonderful thing! To know that you can make a choice about where you will spend an eternity is such a wonderful concept that everyone should know about! Holding back, to me, just seems out of place. I literally want to tell the world!

So, friends, family, and whoever else follows my blog; this is a message to YOU. If you have heard and understood the gospel message, what are you doing about it? Are you doing what Jesus said? Who have you shared the gospel with? Who are some people at school, at work, or even in your own family that don't have Jesus in their life? The reality of life is that everyone is going to spend an eternity somewhere. Every single person on this earth is either going to spend an eternity with God in heaven, or be permenantly separated from him in the firey pits of hell. So, if you have a close friend or family member that hasn't trusted in Christ as their Savior, what are you waiting for? If you truly care about them, wouldn't you want them to have the assurance of an eternity with God? People can die at any second, so there is no time to waste. Start saving lives!

Created in His Image

I haven't blogged in a while, and I still want to try to work on my goal of at least once a week. It's just hard with work and seeing Adam and all of my other commitments. Now, with this post, I'm not quite sure how to start off with what I want to write about, so I'm just going to dive right in. Enjoy!

I have always had self-esteem issues for as long as I can remember. I remeber way back in kindergarten when no one else would play with me, so I had some negative thoughts about myself, like that no one liked me. As I got older, it only got worse. I was never the skinny kid; I always was a bit chubby. I especially gained a lot of weight around my 15th year. I was very overweight, and with that, naturally comes insults and name-calling. Many of my friends would disagree with this, but I consider myself to be somewhat shy. Of course, when I know people well and I feel comfortable with them, I can be quite outspoken. I never really had many friends. Sure, I had some people here and there that I would hang out with, but I always felt isolated and lonely. I never felt like I fit in. Most of my readers on here know about how bad my depression had gotten in the past few years. I literally hated myself and didn't want to live.

Over the past two and a half years I have overcome the majority of my "issues" from my past. But, one thing I still struggle with is self-esteem and how I view myself. Even though I have lost at least 40 pounds compared to my heaviest point, I still feel fat. (I still want to lose 20-25 pounds before I reach my goal. And honestly, this isn't unrealistic. For my height, my goal is in the healthy weight range.) I find myself constantly beating myself up on the inside. I can easily point out all my flaws and things about myself that are physically wrong. I am overweight and fat, I have acne and a greasy face, I have terrible vision, I sweat a lot, etc. I can go on and on about all the issues I have with my body, but I will leave it at that.

I also find it easy to pick at things "wrong" with me that aren't as noticible. I honestly don't consider myself to be book-smart at all. I know I am a slow learner and it takes me a while to catch onto things. I dropped out of two colleges over the course of five months. I do give up on things very easily and probably more often than I should. Just thinking back to high school, I didn't do very well at all. I wasn't in the top half of my class, and I even took a lot of the "easy" classes. I consider myself socially awkward most of the time. It isn't very noticable, but when I am surrounded by many people, whether I know them or not, I get a small sense of panic inside of "What do I say? What should I do? What do they think of me? What if they laugh at me? etc" I can be very unmotivated and straight out lazy. And again, I can point out tons of things wrong with me that I don't like, but I will stop here.

This whole self-esteem thing has been a struggle for as long as I can remember. It's something I struggle with constantly. I notice it more when I am talking with Adam, whether it be on the phone or in person. He is the most wonderful boyfriend ever, I wouldn't change a thing about him. We will just be talking and he will sometimes randomly tell me "you're amazing", "you're so pretty", "you're beautiful", things like that. Sometimes I will say thank you, other times I will deny it, saying no, you're wrong. I know he doesn't like when I disagree with him on that. There are also times when we will be talking or hanging out and I will just start complaining about myself. I know that sounds terrible, and I know that some people will just start saying stuff about themselves for attention. I can assure anyone who is reading this that is NOT what I am doing. But I will just start beating myself up verbally, and I can tell that it hurts him. I just don't have a high opinion of myself. But he has told me many times that I am the most smart, beautiful, pretty caring girlfriend he's ever had, and I want to believe him, but it's hard. I know he wouldn't lie to me.

This past weekend I went to church twice, once on Saturday night with Adam and the other time at the second service with my brothers. We have just started our study on Ephesians, and the theme of this past weekend's service was about how God chose us to be his. It was really an interesting sermon. It made me start to think about myself differently.

At my job, I have a lot of thinking time on my hands; I have a lot of time for my mind to wander. This Wednesday and Thursday I especially thought a lot. I thought about how I was sick of my bad attitude towards myself and I knew I wanted to change it. I realized right away that I wouldn't be able to do it alone, I would need encouragement from Adam and of course, help from God.

I know that we are all created in God's image. I know that God created me with a purpose, and I know that every single characteristic of mine is of his doing. I look how I look because that's how he made me. So my conclusion was something like this: I know I would never insult God, so why would I insult his creation? He made me like this, so who am I to judge myself and say it's wrong? I want to try to view myself through God's eyes, the way he sees me.

"So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them." ~Genesis 1:27

"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." ~Psalm 139:13-14

"For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight." ~Ephesians 1:4

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!" ~2 corinthians 5:17

Heavenly Father, you created me just as I am. You know everything about me, every thought I've ever had and will ever have. I struggle a lot with my self-esteem, and I know that when I say something negative about myself, it's like saying something bad about you or to you. I need your help to overcome this struggle, I know I can't do it alone. Please help me overcome this. I ask this in your name, amen.

Life is good!

Life is going pretty fantastic. Adam and I just celebrated our 2 month anniversary this past Sunday, and considering both of our relationship history, this is a HUGE accomplishment. It's not like some of my past relationships where the first few weeks or the first month is great and then it starts to get tedious and boring and it becomes more and more of an effort to "make it work." If anything, it started out great and it's stronger now than ever and we get closer each day.

A few weeks ago I was texting with Adam and we started talking about sex. Now, don't get the wrong idea here. It was a good talk. We both have made mistakes in the past and we both have regrets from past relationships. You can't change the past, but you can learn from your mistakes to help you not make mistakes in the future. We both came to a decision that we are going to wait until marriage to have sex. At first I was a but leery to even bring this up in the first place, I was thinking it might make things weird or awkward between us, but actually, we have become a lot closer! We talked about how there is always going to be temptation, but if we keep God as our focus and don't get caught up in the moment, everything will work out. I shared with Adam a verse I found that we can keep in mind when temptation arises.

"No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it." ~1 Corinthians 10:13

Later that day, I went to Sonlight Books, a Christian store in Sheboygan. I went there before I went in to work. I bought a ring that says "Love Waits" on it. I later told Adam about it, and I asked if he would be interested in getting one too because they had men's rings too. He gladly said he would get one too. Unfortunately, he still hasn't gotten one because he hasn't been up here by me in the past few weeks except this past Sunday, and that was when I found out that Sonlight Books is closed on Sundays. But the next time he is up here by me on a weekday, we are definitely going to get him one.

Things with Adam are going absolutely wonderful. We don't get to see each other as often as we would like because of our jobs, but it's okay because we talk on the phone almost every night. My job is going good, life at home is great. Life is good!

Heavenly Father, I want to praise you and thank you for the blessings in my life. Everything that is going on is going according to your plan; you are in control. I want to pray for Adam and my relationship, that you will continue to be in the center of it. Help us not lose focus of you, and when temptation arrises, help us maintain control. I pray that our relationship will grow stronger and closer, but only as we grow closer to you. I ask this in your holy name, Amen.